6 Year Old Needs Help
Posted on August 12th, 2011 by Dennis in the "Ask Dennis" category.
Dear Dennis:
I have a 6 year old who has recently starting telling me he hates himself.And everyone around him.He yells at his 15 month old brother. He tells he he wants to live somewhere else. He says he wishes he was never born & that his sis was never born. It breaks my heart. He treats me like crap then says he is sorry.He doesn’t listen to anyone other than his stepfather who has been his Dad for the last 3 years or so. I’m at the end of my rope. I want to give up so badly. I don’t know what to do. It seams like the harder I try the less it helps. I hate to say this but sometimes I want to give him away. Please help me. I need to know what to do. I don’t want to give up on my child. I never thought I would have him. I prayed for him for many years. Please help. -Meechell
Dear Meechell:
This is not a healthy situation for any of you. I would suggest an immediate call to your pediatrician for a referral for both you and your son to see a psychiatrist. Some underlying issues need to be addressed. Perhaps there is a jealousy towards the brother and he is crying out for the attention. Whatever the issues, he needs help and so do you. Make the call. Good luck..Dennis
Related Topics: young child
9 Year Old Daughter Needs Help
Posted on July 29th, 2011 by Dennis in the "Ask Dennis" category.
Dear Dennis,
Your BILY group was strongly recommended to me by a PsyD, however, my daughter is only 9 years old. Do you think I can still benefit from coming to your group? Is there a BILY group more for her age group?
Thank you,
Christina
Hi Christina:
We have parents who attend B.I.L.Y. who are dealing with children as young as 6 years old. We welcome parents who have children of all ages. We do also have a youth group on the same night but that is for teens .Learning new and effective parenting skills before your youth turns into a teen is a smart move and should help you to maintain structure and cooperation with less stress. Hope we will see you tonight. Thanks..Dennis
Related Topics: young child
Troubled 11 Year Old
Posted on July 22nd, 2011 by Dennis in the "Ask Dennis" category.
Dear Dennis,
My 11 year old son recently passed his 1 year anniversary of living as a type 1 diabetic, so he has extra challenges on his path. However, he is non-compliant with everything from using the restroom when he really needs to(#2) to household responsibilities to schoolwork. He calls himself stupid and says he should just die when confronted with lies he tells often. He has been to 2 different counselors and I have not seen any improvements. His father and I are divorced but we are both remarried. I want to help my son, but seem unable to figure out what part to “fix” so we can concentrate on having fun and getting him back on track with his diabetes. Anyone have any suggestions? It seems we have tried everything we’ve heard of and nothing is working. -Barbara
Hi Barbara:
Your son will have these challenges for the remainder of his life or until someday, Please God, that a cure is found. In the meantime,you must add a word to the fact that he has Diabetes and that word is Nevertheless.You and your husband need to sit down and figure out what the house rules are and what chores that your son is responsible for. Type them up and post them somewhere like the refrigerator. Then sit down with him and explain each rule and chore and remind him that if he breaks any of the rules or misses doing any of the chores, he will have consequences.
I am not sure what you are referring to when you say what part to fix but you need to parent him with love and with discipline. That is what life is about. He will have to follow rules throughout his life time and the first place that he should start is in his home with the people who mean the most to him. If feeling special is important to your son, let it be for following the rules and cooperating in the home. Reward him for any consistency in following rules and chores so that he begins to learn that it is worth it. If there is a BILY group in your community, getting support from other parents will certainly be a plus. There are some good articles on our web site under references that you might glance through.
Type One Diabetes is so much more treatable today then it was when I first met my wife in junior high in 1952 and found out that she had Juvenile Diabetes. We were best friends throughout school and throughout our marriage. She passed away in 1981. She left me with two children who now have children of their own. My daughter is now 45 and has recently developed Type Two Diabetes, so the disease remains in my family and always a concern.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Understand, your son is doing what he is doing, because he can. The changes must start with you and your husband before he can make any changes. Finding a good therapists for him is also essential. Sometimes it takes going through a few until one clicks for him or even contacting the Juvenile Diabetes Research Association for additional advise. Good Luck…Dennis
Related Topics: young child
