What are boundaries? One possible answer is the setting of limits for you. Example: We need to set limits on what we shall do to and for other people. We need to set limits on what we will allow other people to do to and for us. The people we relate to need to know we have boundaries. it will help them and us. This is not to suggest that we become tyrants or absolutely inflexible, but we can understand our own limits and as we grow and change, we may want to change our boundaries.

Examples of boundaries common to codependents who are recovering.

1 .I will not allow anyone to physically or verbally abuse me.
2. I will not knowingly believe or support lies.
3. I will not allow chemical abuse in my home.
4. I will not allow criminal behavior in my home.
5. I will not rescue people from the consequences of their alcohol abuse or their irresponsible behavior.
6. I will not finance a person's chemical abuse or other irresponsible behavior.
7. I will not lie to protect you or me from your alcoholism, addictions, compulsions and obsessions.
8. I will not use my home as a detoxification center for recovering addicts.
9. If you want to act crazy, that's your business, but you can't do it in front of me. Either you will leave or I will walk away.
10. You can spoil your fun, your day, your life, that's your business, but I won't let you spoil my fun, my day, or my life.
11. I will set a special boundary if I feel it is necessary to a particular relationship
12. I will set up boundaries, and in doing so, I will make sure they are my own boundaries.

Clues to some boundaries: Things we are sick of can't stand, make threats about. Mean what we say, say what we mean. Be serious BE CONSISTENT! Don't feel guilty Stick to your boundaries People may get angry, threaten us, and try to get us to feel guilty, manipulate us, or just not believe us. Guess what? They do this because they can't use or abuse us any more. Enforce your boundaries. Tell people what your boundaries are... once, quietly and in peace. Then watch your tolerance level. It's worth it. I am worth it. We are worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT.