POWER - the ability to act from the greatest possible number of options.

RESPONSIBILITY - the ability to respond. Not the saint as Blame.

INSANITY - doing the same thing over and over yet expecting a different result. ("If I've told you once. I've told you a thousand times...")

FEELINGS - They let us know how we're doing in any given situation:

Hurt = problem
Fear = there's a threat somewhere (inside our out)
Frustration = time to try something new Guilt - time to stop doing the wrong thing
Sad = something's been lost
Anger = look for the hurt, Lear, frustration, or the "should/shouldn't" in the situation
Happy = keep up whatever you're doing Identify feelings by paying attention to Bodily sensations Interpretations

FEELINGS ARE NOT DANGEROUS - Only what we do affects others we don't need to control our feelings, only our actions we’re not controlled by our feelings, but we can use them to understand ourselves and our situations. Nobody knows what you're feeling unless you share

ANGER HAS USEFUL FUNCTIONS
Motivates us to take action and improve things, Helps us protect ourselves, Helps us safely express pain. It can be expressed constructively or destructively.

THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, and ACTIONS are not the same. Each affects the other; Thoughts to Feelings to Actions. ANGER is a feeling. VIOLENCE is an action. When feeling angry, you can: Take a TIME-OUT. Leave, go for a walk, getaway. Stay away long enough to cool off. With those close to you (spouse, girl/boy-friend, etc), set up a signal beforehand. Some time when neither of you are angry, talk about how Time Outworks. Agree that when you use a certain phrase (for example, "I need to take Time Out"), the two of you will separate for a while. Agree to a specific time period, maybe an hour or so. At the end of that time, come back together. If either of you is not ready to resume, take another Time Out

Change your SELF TALK (the things you say to yourself). Instead of repeating to yourself how angry you are or why you're angry, talk to yourself about how you have a choice in responding, about something pleasant, or about something neutral. Look for other feelings accompanying your anger. Do you also feel HURT? Do you feel AFRAID? What is hurting you? What are you afraid of? Consider sharing your feelings with the other persons involved. Identify the specific problem. Can you do anything constructive to alleviate the problem? For example, if you are angry about problems at work, look for the things that can do to correct them.

Relax. Take some time alone in a quiet room. Sit in a comfortable place, close your eyes, and slow your breathing. Focus on the pattern of your breathing, but don't force your thoughts. Just bring them gently back to your breathing. Then imagine what it would be like to be someplace safe and special to you - maybe the beach or a park or a particular room - any place in which you feel comfortable and safe. See the sights, hear the sounds, and feel the sensations from that place. Stay there as long as you like. When you feel very relaxed, gradually come back to the present. Exercise. Go jogging, for a walk, work-out with weights, or do something else to tire yourself physically. Direct the energy from your anger into your exercise, but do not rehearse revenge. Use your Self Talk to help you calm down. Think about whether the problem is really that important. For example, how important is it if someone cuts in front of you in line? As important as if someone were to break into your home? Ask for help. Call a friend or someone else you can trust. Remember: IT'S OK TO FEEL ANGER, but you can MANAGE YOUR ANGER SO THAT YOU ACT CONSTRUCTIVELY INSTEAD OF DESTRUCTIVELY.